Thoughts and feelings

How fast time flies.And i have to say it is especially so this month for me. Beginning of the month, i was really dragging my feet to work.Hate to wake up early and squeeze myself in the public transport and being squeezed by others.It’s ok if the person standing beside me smells ok,but the whole trip will be hell if the person has a wonderful ‘fragance’.
Had started work at my new workplace in Mount E. Hee…nice place to work.Its an ortho clinic(however it will be even better if i don’t have to work and money comes in..i’m reaching there..muhahaha) and i had to assist in dressings and standby in the operating room.Yup, my third and fourth day, i went into the operating room.As expected, i enjoyed myself there.Though i was just observing,but i learnt a lot.And since my interest is there,i’m absorbing as much as i can.
Though it’s tough,but its still ok for me.
Thoughout the week, the best thing that happened to me is a can of coffee.Hahaha…must be wondering what has a can of coffee did that made me over the moon.Well, it all began when i SMSed him(yes,him) if he is in Singapore.And the next moment, i received a missed call from him.Looking at the number,it’s his Singapore number.Gave him a call back and asked him where is he and if he wants to meet for dinner. He said he’s at Bugis and is alone. I said ok,will meet him there after work.
So after work, i made my way there and then i received a message from him that his mobile’s battery is flat and asked me to call the other 2 people who are with him.
Had dinner with 3 guys that night.And my friend was telling me that to give him a call when i arrived.So i said ok.And i reached the table,i saw a plate of rice there waiting for me.Nice of them to order ahead.So i was seated between him and my friend.As we ate,he asked me,what operation did i do today.Circumsion? I burst out laughing.And i said,no,as i am working in an ortho clinic.It has got nothing to do with circumsion at all! Hahaha…
After dinner, we went for our meeting.I helped with the ushering for that night.So, while waiting for the meeting to start, i was catching up with another friend of mine.Actually we are gossiping about whatever happened in KL.People started arriving and i had to be at my station.So i went to sit by the table near the door,which is at the back of the room.
He was sitting at the front row and then suddenly,turned his head to his right to see where am i.My bag is sitting on the second row,but i’m right at the back.And then, he turned behind and saw me standing behind.And he got up and walked over.I asked him what happen. Can’t really recall what was the conversation but he sat with me at the back.
The meeting progress and then he got up and went out.It so happened that the door was opened and i saw that he was getting a drink from the vending machine outside.He came in and offered me the can.Initally i shook my head,however on second thought,since he offered it to me,i just took it from him.And i cleaned the rim with my finger.He said ‘you’re sure your finger is clean? Don’t forget you just did a circumsion today’.I said ‘Please! I didn’t even have the proper parts to do it!’ Yeah..the conversation is a bit R21.And ignoring him,i went ahead and popped the can.Before i drank, i realised that we have to drink from the same spot!The best thing is i was wearing lip gloss.And if he were to drink from the same spot without cleaning,its equal to an indirect kiss!
So i drank from the can and passed it to him.True enough,he did not clean it and just drank from it.It was an indirect kiss! Gosh! Even i can’t believe what had happened.
Well, i’m not sure if its his way of assuring me.Or i am thinking too much? No matter what, i have to thank him for not giving up on me when i was wavering.Somehow, it lead me to think about what happen in KL that its his way of telling me that he likes me.Especially of how close we are sitting together despite the crampy area.
That indirect kiss,is it another of his way of telling me that ‘Hey,actually i do like you’? Though i may felt that i’m getting mixed signals,but my gut feeling tell me otherwise.I don’t have that kind of werid feeling when i’m with him.In fact, i feel secure when i am with him.I don’t feel threatened by him,other than his height! Hahaha…
Whatever the outcome might be,so be it.

Today is a new start for me at my new workplace.Though i was feeling really out of place and didn’t know what to do,but the staff there did made me feel welcome.So i’m happy and i just learn my stuff in peace.Hee..

Just came back from KL on Monday from the annual National Convention.Had to say that each year,its getting better and better.And for the year 2009,the ALS will be in LA!! Hollywood!! Beverly Hills!! Hehehe..shopping and more shopping!! So i am building my own group first.Hee…not an easy task but its not going to push me down.

Well,thought that i can ’sail’ through the convention smoothly.But things happened.As in with him.Yup, the ONE that i always mentioned in my blog.Saw him with his downlines walking at the mall.They were about to walk past my friends and i until i timed it that i gripped his wrist hard.Hahaha…i guess i had gripped it too hard and he had an irriated look on him but when he realised that i was the one,his expression changed and said hi to me.I just smiled back.Didn’t feel like answering him that time.Hee..and my mouth was still sore due to the stiches because of the wisdom teeth removal.

Shopped around with my friends and then its time to board the coach and head off to the stadium.Saw him among the group and he boarded the coach with us.I was thinking..oh…hitchiking with us.It’s on the way anyway.

When we reached the stadium, my upline said that he said we all are sitting together as a group.So ok,all sit togther.Hmm..around 20 of us.And the best thing is i sat beside him.I’m thinking its pure coincidence and nothing more.While i was looking out for my missing friend,he said to me, ‘Don’t turn around because i’m changing’. I replied ‘Chey! I’m not interested at all anyway’.And i just turned my back to him.Then all of the sudden, he placed his hand under my chin and said ‘You’re drooling right?’.I was too stunned to even reply him and i just brushed his hand away.

My friend came and i was talking to her.Thinking that he was done, i turned back and the next minute i went ‘oh shit!’ and turned to my friend. Heh heh heh…he was in the process of changing and i turned and saw his back.Hahaha…nice back i have to say.So i asked my friend to see if he’s done.She said,’oh,he’s changing? Ya..he’s done’.And..i finally turned back proper.

The other incident was that he wanted to call for someone 1 row below us.And the person is sitting diagonally from me.Without warning,he just lean across me and call her.Again i was stunned because he rested his upper body on my thighs!! I was too stunned to move and i didn’t even know where to place my hands.So i just rest them on my bag because it doesn’t seems right to put my hands on his back.

On the whole, i maybe thinking too much about his actions.But sitting beside him made me realised something.I felt secure with him and i have to say..he is a very nice ‘warmer’! Hahaha….I was totally myself as i sat and enjoy the performances.Although the place was real cramped,but i didn’t feel squashed with him sitting beside me.

Ok,guess that’s all for now.

Elva Xiao’s new song-冲动.The lyrics is so fitting to what i’m feeling now.

很感激 这城市拥挤的交通 

让你我 还能够相处几分钟 

人潮中 怕失散所以紧紧拉你的手 

一刻不放松 不放松 

忍不住 想要爱你的冲动 

不确定你属于我 会有点寂寞 

你给的幸福在我心中 自由走动 

抚平我每一个伤口 

忍不住 想要吻你的冲动 

不确定我的执着能让你感动 

我只能相信自己感受 不怕失落 

关于你的一切我想要比谁都懂 

我的心 是被你设定的闹钟 

提醒我 想你的时间不够用 

为什么 平淡的事情现在忽然生动 

是你改变我 你改变我 

忍不住 想要爱你的冲动 

不确定你属于我 会有点寂寞 

你给的幸福在我心中 自由走动 

抚平我每一个伤口 

忍不住 想要吻你的冲动 

不确定我的执着能让你感动 

我只能相信自己感受 不怕失落 

关于你的一切我想要比谁都懂 

你是情人还是朋友 

还没勇气想的太多 

你的世界如此辽阔 

我会在哪个角落 

忍不住 想要爱你的冲动 

不确定你属于我 会有点寂寞 

你给的幸福在我心中 自由走动 

抚平我每一个伤口 

忍不住 想要吻你的冲动 

不确定我的执着能让你感动 

我只能相信自己感受 不怕失落 

关于你的一切我想要比谁都懂

Well,i’m sitting in front of my PC at 1am!! Trying to think of something to write about whatever happened to me recently.

Last day at work was rather relaxing i should say. And i’m glad to have known friends from there.Hee….and of course interesting things happened when i was there. As to what had happened, i guess only my ex-colleagues will know what on earth am i talking about.Hahahaha…thanks for lending me a listening ear when i need to ventilate.

In just a few hours time,i will be going for my wisdom tooth extraction.Shudders! I’m removing not 1 but 4 teeth at one go.Many people i spoke to say that i’m crazy to remove 4.However, my mentality is, remove 1 also pain,remove 4 also pain.So might as well remove 4.I’m a bit twisted.I admit.

Had an enjoyable learning session from a nutrition guru on Friday evening and Sunday. I realised that I did ‘live’ wrongly in the past! I wonder how many people who attended it together with me agree? Kekeke…

Will be starting work at my new place next Tuesday.Hopefully,my face is not that swolllen anymore. But before that,i will out of town on Sunday.Yay….celebration time! Damn gung-ho of me to go overseas after an operation.Hee…i believe that the swelling will subside on this coming Sunday.Hahaha…though i will not be able to chew very well.^^

Ok,that’s all for now.

I was surfing around looking for a song..then happened to saw this song .The singer has the same name as me.Common first name anyway.Here’s the lyrics.Somehow it describes how i am feeling…hahaha.

"From Sarah with love" By Sarah Connor

For so many years we were friends
And yes I always knew what we could do
But so many tears in the rain
Felt the night you said
That love had come to you
I thought you were not my kind
I thought that I could never feel for you
The passion and love you were feeling
And so you left
For someone new
And now that you’re far and away
I’m sending a letter today
From Sarah with love
She’d got the lover she is dreaming of
She never found the words to say
But I know that today
She’s gonna send her letter to you
From Sarah with love
She took your picture to the stars above
And they told her it is true
She could dare to fall in love with you
So don’t make her blue when she writes to you
From Sarah with love
So maybe the chance for romance
Is like a train to catch before it’s gone
And I’ll keep on waiting and dreaming
You’re strong enough
To understand
As long as you’re so far away
I’m sending a letter each day
From Sarah with love
She’d got the lover she is dreaming of
She never found the words to say
But I know that today
She’s gonna send her letter to you
From Sarah with love
She took your picture to the stars above
And they told her it is true
She could dare to fall in love with you
So don’t make her blue when she writes to you
From Sarah with love

From Sarah with love
She’d got the lover she is dreaming of
She never found the words to say
But I know that today
She’s gonna send her letter to you
From Sarah with love
She’s gotta know what you are thinking of
‘Cause every little now and then
And again and again
I know her heart cries out for you
From Sarah with love
She’s gotta know what you are thinking of
Never found the words to say, ahh
But today, but today…
From Sarah with love
She took your picture to the stars above
And they told her it is true
She could dare to fall in love with you
So don’t make her blue when she writes to you
From Sarah with love
So don’t make her blue when she writes to you
From Sarah with love

My All By Mariah Carey

I am thinking of you
In my sleepless solitude tonight
If it’s wrong to love you
Then my heart just won’t let me be right
‘Cause I’m drowned in you
And I won’t pull through
Without you by my side

I’d give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I’d risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
’cause I can’t go on
Living in the memory of our song
I’d give my all for your love tonight
Give my all for your love
Tonight!

This song touched me a lot,simply because it brings me back to the time when i heard this song.

Here’s the lyrics.

You look in my eyes and I get emotional inside
I know it’s crazy, but you still can touch my heart
And after all this time you think that I wouldn’t feel the same
But time melts into nothing, and nothing’s changed

I still believe
Someday you and me(will find ourselves in love…)

Congrats to myself for able to let go.Its such a relief to let go. I guess my close friends will know what on earth am i talking about. Yup,FINALLY, I’m moving on and i’m just giving myself more options that’s all.Why should i just limit to just one?

Had a bad fall on Monday morning in the toilet.I guess i was groggy and was not alert to the wet toilet floor and then ‘BAM’! I landed on my back and hurt my lower back.Damn…its my second time hurting my back and of all places,my lower back.The same area twice!! Thank goodness i did not hurt my head.So i couldn’t walk,had to crawl my way out of the toilet and reach into my meds box to get my painkillers. And then, limp all the way back into my bedroom and rest.Gosh..all of things on a morning. Went to see the doctor later the day,lucky nothing much.Phew!

Okies,that’s all for now.Will update again.

Below is the poem that was written by a Chinese blogger when the Sichuan quake happened. It had appeared in the evening newspaper before. As i was reading it, tears flow from my eyes. May be the dead rest in peace.And may the alive find the strength to move on and carry on living strong.

妈妈

看到我的样子

请别为我哭泣

清晨出门时你亲手为我结的蝴蝶结已不知去向

爸爸给我新买的花裙子已经脏了、破了

那双新鞋子就在我的身边

可我却没有办法再穿上它

我的头上、身上沾满了泥土

手里紧攥着的是那支心爱的铅笔

手边散落的是来不及合上的书本

妈妈

看到我的样子

请别为我哭泣

我依然是你们心中的天使

只是不能再偎在你们身边嬉戏

我依然是你们的骄傲

只是不能再在你们面前展现我骄人的成绩

我依然是你们的孩子

只是，只是我不会再长大

妈妈

看到我的样子

请别为我哭泣

面对黑暗和恐惧

我没有哭

我真的很勇敢

虽然我很想在那一刻拉住你们的手

虽然我很想在那一刻找到只有你们才能带给我的温暖和勇气

妈妈

我知道你看到我现在的样子

一定会哭泣

可我真的想为你擦去那止不住的泪水

告诉你不要哭

我更想依偎在你温暖的怀抱

再叫你一声妈妈

妈妈

请不要为我哭泣

我并不孤单更不害怕

因为我知道无论我走多远

永远都有你的牵挂陪伴

因为你知道无论我走多远

永远都活在你的心里

妈妈

现在的我很乖很安静

请不要为我哭泣

今生做你们的儿女没有做够

来生，我们还要在一起

I’m not sure if its just me or everyone else.I really really hate going to the dentist.However, my wisdom tooth have been giving me trouble and i have no choice but to step into the clinic.

So,i reached the clinic and looked around.Hmm…no one at the counter.Guess they are all busy inside.I can hear the drilling sound of the drill and i just shuddered.Hee…i’m a chicken when it comes to that.The clinic assistant saw me sitting on the couch and i smiled sweetly at her and i approached her that i had an appointment today for consultation.So,she registered me and i saw my doctor,ah..should say dental surgeon.Hee..

Nice guy,very humourous and interesting person.I was given the VIP treatment right away.I guessed its because he saw what’s my occupation! LOL,because we are in the same line. Anyways, he ‘nagged’ at me about my oral hygiene.Yes,i’m guilty of not visiting the dentist for very long.Hee…well,since he’s such a nice guy and i’m quite okay with him,so yup, decided to listen to him and go for cleaning before my removal of my wisdom tooth.

An full facial x-ray was done and he told me i need to remove 4 wisdom teeth.2 upper and 2 lower. The one over my right cheek need to be surgically removed because its not fully grown yet.My gum is still covering it.So that one will take a bit longer.
As i was listening,i was thinking to myself ‘OMG! Remove 4 teeth? Will my face be as swollen as a hamburger?’ But then again, its better to remove all at 1 shot than to suffer the pain more than once.Hee..very gung-ho!
So, i had scheduled my appointment for the cleaning and then on that day itself, i will schedule for my operation date.OMG, i wonder will i be able to tolearate the pain?